User blog:Ultimate Legend Star Kirby12/Review: 11th Anniversary Party

Thanks to the positive reception I got from last time, I'm importing the 11th Anniversary review here too for you to read and mock as I try to seem relevant with my crappy figures.

Whoo, man. This party. THIS PARTY. Anniversary parties usually aren't the best, but this one is by far the worst one. Strap in, this is gonna be tough.



Do the thing!



~♪Who's gonna be♪~



~♪The unlucky one♪~



~♪That has to deal with the new crap♪~



~♪That CP's put out this month?♪~





"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

side note: this particular review requires a bit more visual stuff to go by, so i skimped out on a bit of editing.



Oh hey, fantastic. For your epic milestone (who knows how you've managed to get here), the first thing you flash on the screen is a stock image with a party hat lazily slapped on top with Microsoft Paint. Seems legit!

So, let's check out the Coffee Shop, shall we?



Uhh...



Uhh...

A FEW DAYS LATER

Oh hey, they fixed it. Let's take a-



Waaaait a minute... Haven't we seen this one before?



If you haven't caught on yet... sigh... this party is literally just a recolor of the 9th Anniversary party with a new cake. Seriously.

You know what, CP? I can throw images into recolor programs too! You should totally hire me fam, I'll make dank stuff.



Alright, now for the big thing.





Oh boy, I can't wait to shred this thing to bits.



Let's get cracking!



Wow, that got retarded real fast. you're really just gonna throw the sword away? was it dumb enough to cause that to happen?



Oh hey, crappy JPG-style images! On this day and age! Not even Microsoft Paint can screw up that badly!



And ah yes, the FNAF crap. I actually didn't mind it that much, but heebejeez the writing on this page is awful. Putting the word "Herbot" in all caps, calling the Herbot terrifying even though it did literally nothing but stand around, etc...




 * sigh* right, the worst party of CP until Frozen Fever happened. The Paint Festival would've been much better than this crap, but nooooo, it must be something related to puffles! Also, there is literally nothing classified to crust (or anything at all). By the way, nice job covering half the page with your precious cyclops puffles! We all totally wanted to see them again! Seriously, this party just makes me want to:





Christmas party... eh. It was fine, yeah, but it was just so forgettable. Really, any party in this yearbook that wasn't terrible was just really forgettable and brought nothing new to the table.



Prehistoric Party! We went to the past so we could get energy so those crappy aliens could finally get outta here, BUT ALSO THERE WERE GOOD DINOSAUR COSTUMES YES DEFINITELY THEY WERE VERY GOOD BUY MY TOYS.



Alright, make sure your nuts have shacked and your villains are number one, because this particular one- and you all know what this one is- is extra bad. I'm gonna need a red pen for this one.



PFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAyeyeAyaya!! This is probably the worst writing I've seen, especially considering the context! And this is coming from Disney, the same company that brought us amazing stuff like all three Toy Stories, Finding Nemo and Dory, Inside Out, Wreck-it-Ralph, and a lot of other masterpieces!



Oh hey, gigantic images to make people remember that THE FURRY CONVENTIONS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT! "adorable pets"?! "partied like only puffles can"?! You've gotta be kidding me.

You know what? Bring those puffles over here.



I wanna run 'em over.



Oh yeah, this guy existed. Again, forgettable party, forgettable character. Honestly, I wouldn't hate Merry Walrus or Sasquatch as much if they actually contributed something to the party they were featured in instead of just being blatant CP staff OC shoe-ins.



Actually, I wanna run him over too.

So now we're gonnahuh huh HUH HUH HOLY-



oooooooh no



oh dios mio

dios mio

Did these things really look this hideous?!

You know what? I need to pull a Robbie Rotten on this one...



DON'T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH IT!



And yes, the Finding Dory Party. Honestly... I watched Finding Dory and loved it. Pixar Dory is really good, but Club Penguin Dory?



Feed her to the birds.



And Frozen Fever? ...wow. They never even mention once that it's the third time Frozen happened. Know what? If we're gonna feed Dory to the birds...



Might as well throw her into a volcano. lol get it because gekiatsu daioh's korean name is volcano king ololol

And now, for the yearbook signatures... this is gonna suck.



You're being serious right now? People actually still submit newspaper questions?



Yeah sure, Rockhopper's obsession over stinky cheese is totally funny. But don't you need something to actually know it's stinky?



You know, a nose?



...yeah, I don't think shoving this thing into everything is going to improve anything.

I'd argue that G's flanderization is worse than Rockhopper's, even though Rockhopper's flanderization makes every single adventure he's ever had non-canon. The difference is that G provides a lot more to the plot, and his flanderization means he's just a retarded mad scientist that blows up everything.



And... really? Rookie's flanderization is particularly worse because he was actually showing signs of improvement before it happened. But now he's just permanently Rookie.



You know what? I think his brain got smart enough to realize that CP was going to fail, and it detached itself and jumped ship before it was too late. Honestly I would've done that too.



I... don't think I need to explain what's wrong with this one.



And yes, apparently even Sensei has been flanderized. He's practically become a disgrace to all ninjas at this point.

...unless he means "this year made me sick", in which case he's fine.



And as for PH, the moment she was put into the main game there was literally no hope. She really should've stayed in the DS series.

Also, "world (full of puffles)"? Really?

Know what? I changed my mind. Running over with a giant camping car isn't enough. We need something more brutal.



Call in the boxer.



No, I meant the bigger one.



That's more like it.



Waaait a minute...



frantic google searching

JPG, your real name was revealed four years ago. There are literally no security issues there. Not to mention that 1. G, Rookie and Dot have all signed and 2. You can legitimately just write "Jet Pack Guy". I think this is just a crappy excuse to not design a signature for JPG, they're that lazy.



As for the Penguin Band... they're a lost cause. This just shows that they've been degenerated into four clones of the exact same character (if you can call them characters at all). Not to mention the fact that they wrote their names down twice for whatever reason. How did that get through the proofreading process? Was there even a proofreading process?



Then there's Dot, the latest victim of flanderization and the worst one in terms of design. Not to mention the fact that the secret agent stuff is mentioned not once here. If you've forgotten, CP, Dot is EPF agent first and fashion designer second! She's called the Disguise Gal for a reason! At this point, do you know who's better?



VILLAIN NUMBER ONE!



And then there's this guy. You know, the island would be a lot quieter and warmer if you actually did something productive! Seriously, you've done nothing since Operation Puffle three years ago! At this point, Herbert's so much of an idiotic harmless villain that the penguins can just straight up walk up to him and ask for him to sign the yearbook! This is the same guy that destroyed the PSA/EPF HQ three times!



You know what, Herbert? I want to help.



Because as of now, I want this island dead more than you do. I'm gonna give you stuff to help you conquer it! Hatchets, fire swords, giant mechanical direwolves that also shoot fireballs... You want it? It's yours, my friend! You'll probably find some way to screw up anyway, but if you get a weapon that's lethal enough, it might just override the flanderization!



As for YOU! You haven't done anything ever after freeing Herbert from his hibernation chamber! Actually do something instead of being a useless mascot thing! We already have puffles, we don't need any more of those!

* huff* *huff*



...whew.

This was by far that absolute worst CP yearbook of all time.



As for the items... they aren't that great. The background is okay, but it's still among the low tier of backgrounds since it's just a striped design with an 11 slapped on it. The party hat... doesn't really fit. The newer style of hats from the 6th anniversary were bearable, but the 10th anniversary style just doesn't work, more so without the side designs.

...why is this game still a thing?

0/5 stars, 1 Shino facepalm.



I need a break...