Club Penguin: Halloween Panic!/Transcript

The following is a transcript from "Club Penguin: Halloween Panic!"

Scene 1: Trick-or-treating
(a scream is heard, a wolf howls, and Bat Puffles fly across the screen)

(music plays)

(penguins wish each other a Happy Halloween)

Trick-or-treat penguin 1: Trick-or-treat! Cool, candy!

Trick-or-treat penguin 2: Trick-or-treat! Cool, roast fish!

Trick-or-treat penguin 3: Trick-or-treat!

Butler penguin: Here you are, sir.

Trick-or-treat penguin 3: Cool, HD TV!

Butler penguin: Happy Halloween, sir.

(fake spider drops down and a penguin screams)

(Roofhowse laughs)

(a puffle with spider legs scares Roofhowse and the puffle laughs)

(some penguins are seen bobbing for apples and one surfaces with a snorkel and a fish in her mouth)

(penguins scream)

(a penguin places a jack-o-lantern outside, which scares a puffle)

(the puffle then brushes up affectionately against the jack-o-lantern)

Scene 2: Haunted Igloo
Cake Guy: Wow, spooky!

Awesome Guy: This haunted igloo is gonna be awesome!

Cake Guy: I'm scared already!

Gary: We'll see how scary this is.

Cake Guy and Awesome Guy: Hey, Gary the Gadget Guy!

Gary: I am, after all, the foremost authority on the supernatural. It would take a class 4 poltergeist to overwhelm my redonkulous fortitude.

Cake Guy and Awesome Guy: A whaaaa?

Gary: I'm a ghost expert and don't scare easy.

(clock strikes 8 PM)

Gary: (screams in high-pitched voice and jumps in Awesome Guy's arms) However, I do have an irrational fear of analog clocks. (digital watch beeps) Ah, sweet, sweet digital.

(door to Haunted Igloo opens and Jangrah appears)

Jangrah: Welcome to the Haunted Igloo!

(lightning cracks)

Jangrah: It is I, Jangrah Belle, your ghoulish guide on this tour of terror!

Cake Guy and Awesome Guy: Terror?

Jangrah: Follow me, if you dare. The ghosts are dying to meet you!

(Jangrah laughs as a sinister pipe organ plays and lighting cracks again)

Scene 3: Inside the Haunted Igloo
Jangrah: For your safety, please keep your head, hands, and feet attached to your body at all times. And no flash photography, please.

Cake Guy, Awesome Guy, and Gary: Awwww.

Scene 4: On the Haunted Ride
Jangrah: We must proceed carefully, lest we wake the terrifying vampire, Count Roofhowse-ula!

Cake Guy, Awesome Guy, and Gary: Woahhh!

(Roofhowse breaks out from coffin)

Roofhowse: Blah, blah, bleh!

Cake Guy and Awesome Guy: Woah!

(Cake Guy and Awesome Guy embrace each other in fear and shiver)

Roofhowse: Time for a little late night- bleh-

(vampire teeth fall out of Roofhowse's mouth and onto floor)

Roofhowse: Dang it! Let me get those.

Jangrah: And we're moving on!

Roofhowse: Wait! I was going to say- bleh-

(vampire teeth fall out of Roofhowse's mouth again)

Roofhowse: Oh, double dang it.

Scene 5: The Haunted Parlor
Jangrah: See the Haunted Parlor, where madam Lorna communicates with unseen forces. She has a remarkable head... for the supernatural!

(spooky music plays)

Lorna: Hello.

Gary: Hah, heh, I get it! Clever, but not particularly scary.

Lorna: Oh yeah?

(picture and candlesticks on wall start to rattle and suspenseful music plays)

Lorna: Ghost beings and furies, this night respond! Send us a message from the world beyond!

(outdated technology drops down and their sounds are heard)

Gary: Ahhh! Dead technology! The horror!

Scene 6: The Haunted Lab
Gary: Oh sweet relief, a science theme!

Jangrah: Behold! The mad genius, Doctor Sydmull-stein is bringing to life his latest creation!

Sydmull: Live, I command you. Live!

(electricity surges from machine)

Sydmull: It's alive. It's alive! It's a-!

(Sydmull pulls off the covers and the machine winds down)

Sydmull: It's a... pile of... pillows...

(Cake Guy and Awesome Guy blink twice)

Awesome Guy: Is this awkward pause part of the ride?

Jangrah: Sydmull! Where is Blizzard?

Sydmull: How should I know? He's supposed to be right here.

Jangrah: (grunts in frustration) My sincerest apologies. One of our cast members is a no-show, so-

(yelling is heard)

Blizzard: (bursts through the door yelling) We're all doomed!

Jangrah: Blizzard! You're late!

Blizzard: (shuts door while pounding on door can be heard) You're not gonna believe this. (heavy pound on door) Ooh! I was totally on my way here- (another heavy pound on door) Ahh! And they came after me!

Jangrah: Who came after you?

(arms break through door and Blizzard screams and runs toward Jangrah and friends)

Blizzard: Zombies!

Zombies: ''(swing open door) Brains!

Gary: (laughs) Very convincing zombies, Jangrah! You know, my exceptionally large brain would be quite the delicacy!

Jangrah: Um, Gary. (nervous laugh) These zombies aren't a part of the ride.

Gary: You mean...

Zombies: Penguin brains!

Gary: Augh! Protect my enormous brain!

(Jangrah and friends scream and run to the Haunted Parlor)

Scene 7: Back in the Haunted Parlor
(more screaming)

Lorna: What's going on?!

Sydmull: Non-scripted zombie attack!

(a zombie breaks through the door)

Zombie: Penguin brains!

(Lorna screams at the top of her lungs, fogs up glass in crystal ball, pauses to wipe it with her beak, and screams some more)

Roofhowse: (enters the room) Bleh, bleh, what is all the commotion ab- (vampire teeth fall out of mouth yet again) Aww. (bends down to pick up teeth)

(second zombie breaks through the door)

Zombie: Brains!

(Roofhowse screams and runs behind Awesome Guy)

Zombies: Penguin brains!

Jangrah: Aah! What do we do now?

Blizzard: (runs in front of zombies) We dance!

(funky music plays as Blizzard and the zombies dance)

Gary: This is off the charts! (nudges Cake Guy with elbow) A class 5 zombie flash mob!

(dance ends)

Blizzard: You've just been tricked! Gotcha!

(Blizzard and the zombies laugh)

(Jangrah's head turns red and starts to steam)

Jangrah: BLIZZARD! (scream carries off into night)

Scene 8: Outside of the Haunted House
(Jangrah opens door of Haunted House and Cake Guy, Awesome Guy, and Gary walk outside)

Cake Guy: That was a little weird.

Jangrah: My apologies. That was not a part of the program! (nervous laugh)

Gary: What's the matter, you don't like dancing zombies?

Blizzard: (laughs) You should've seen your face! Classic! At first you were like "Ahhh!" And then you were like "Oohoohooh!"

Jangrah: Blizzard, it's not funny! (pokes chest) You do this every Halloween, and I have had enough! As president of the Haunted Igloo Planning Committee, you're fired!

Blizzard: Fired? Are you serious?

Jangrah: (waves arms as sinister music plays and camera zooms in) Deadly serious! (camera zooms back out) But seriously, you're fired.

Blizzard: Come on... I'm the only one who fits in this costume.

(Sydmull, Roofhowse, and Lorna step out onto doorstep)

Blizzard: Sydmull, back me up, buddy, huh? Up five!

Sydmull: (folds arms across chest) Not even.

Lorna: Oooh, denied.

Blizzard: Come on! Fumbles, listen to me. You gotta admit, that was pretty good! And I'm just gettin' started!

Roofhowse: You know, Blizzard, when it comes to Halloween, most people prefer treats over tricks. Now, if you'll excuse me. (pops vampire teeth back into mouth) Bleh, bleh, wait for me, guys! (hops back into Haunted House) Bleh, bleh!

(door closes, leaving Blizzard standing alone)

Blizzard: Oh yeah, well I got a whole night of Halloween hijinks ahead of me! And I don't need you guys slowing me down! The trick master general is rolling solo! (turns around and walks away enthusiastically)

Scene 9: Walking Away from the Haunted House
(a purple ghost with a top hat appears from hiding and "hmms" as Blizzard continues walking away)

Blizzard: What do they know about tricking? That's what Halloween is all about!

(ghost whispers "yeah" from behind wall and floats around)

Blizzard: Can I help it if I have a gift?

(ghost manifests a jack-o-lantern and speaks)

Purple ghost: Oh, you've got a gift all right!

Blizzard: (screams and jumps) Talking pumpkin?

Purple ghost: (appears from behind jack-o-lantern) What? I ain't no pumpkin! I'm a ghost!

Blizzard: Oh, okay. Wait! A ghost?!

Purple ghost: Yeah, yeah, I'm a ghost. Hoogity-boogity-boogity-googity and all that jazz. Listen! Polter-Gus is the name! (flips top hat and pulls himself out of hat) And tricking's my game! (spins around and laughs)

Blizzard: (shakes Polter-Gus's hand) Nice to meet you, Gus.

Polter-Gus: The trick to tricking is to always leave 'em guessing. Just when they think they've figured out your trick, you trick 'em again! Get it?

Blizzard: Oh, yeha! Well... no.

Polter-Gus: Kid, ya got real potential. With my help, you could be... the tricking king!

Blizzard: Really?

Polter-Gus: Really!

Scene 10: All About the Tricking
(music begins playing)

Polter-Gus: What I'm about to teach ya is the art of trick. From the sneakiest of sneaky to the slickest of slick. Ya gotta have brains and ya gotta be quick to be the boss of double-crossing and the hoodwinks! It's all about the "Gotcha!"

Blizzard: The trade of the tricks?

Polter-Gus: Just if I could watch ya!

Blizzard: It's starting to click!

Polter-Gus: Listen what I taught ya about making deception an art!

Polter-Gus: Gotta get that "Gotcha!"

(Polter-Gus steals a bag of candy from a trick-or-treater, disappears, and reappears next to Blizzard)

Blizzard: I get it, I gotcha, be sneaky and slick! The double-cross secret sauce makes the trick!

(Blizzard and Polter-Gus replace trick-or-treaters' candy bags with bags of bats)

Blizzard: There!

(trick-or-treaters scream and run away from bench)

Polter-Gus: That's it, kid, you're catchin' on quick! Ya get over on the getter, gotta double-stick the trick!

(Polter-Gus zaps bags of candy, causing them to turn into monster bags and chase penguins)

Blizzard and Polter-Gus: And the flim-flam's gonna be better! Baiting and switching together!

Polter-Gus: To be the greatest prankster in history, ya just gotta follow my lead! It's all about the "Gotcha!"

(various pranks)

Roofhowse and Polter-Gus: And the flim-flam's gonna be better, baiting and switching together.

Polter-Gus: You'll be the greatest prankster in history! If ya just listen to me!

Polter-Gus: Here's the real deal, the cream of the crop. The prank of all pranks, and the top of the top. If ya wanna wear the crown of the tricking king, ya gotta muscle-up and do this one last thing.

Blizzard: Go ahead, name it, I've been bit by the bug!

Polter-Gus: It's time to pull the Petrified Pumpkin Plug!

(lighting cracks and a wolf howls)

Scene 11: Petrified Pumpkin Plug
Blizzard: Woah, woah, woah, stop the music! The Petrified Pumpkin Plug is a restricted area! No one is ever supposed to ever touch it! Ever!

Polter-Gus: Come on, Blizzy-boy, we ain't got time for cold flippers! I thought you wanted to be the tricking king.

Blizzard: Well, yeah, but...

Polter-Gus: Then it's settled! Let's pull that plugger, slugger!