Charlotte's Vampire by Ashley There's a charming new boy in Shanghai and he has everybody talking. Stunningly muscular and devastatingly beautiful, all the girls want him. However, Luke Ferguson has a secret - he's a ruthless vampire.
Charlotte Gloop is an energetic, tall girl who enjoys reading. She becomes fascinated by Luke who can stop rocks with his bare hands. She doesn't understand why he's so standoffish.
Her best friend, a smart troll called Heather, helps Charlotte begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the green, enchanted candlestick.
When bodies start turning up all over Shanghai, Charlotte begins to fear the worst. The troll urges her to report Luke to the police and she knows she should, so what's stopping her?
She may resist Luke's bite, but can she resist his charms?
Will she be caught laughing with the vampire?
The Patient Dectective by Ashley
Mangled fingers have been turning up all over Cornwall and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a paperweight, and still nobody has a clue who the wild killer is.
Prof Joshua Superhalk is a hairy and patient detective with a fondness for comedy. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the thoughtless killer.
When his daughter, May Hemingway, is kidnapped, Prof Superhalk finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a piano.
He enlists the help of an incredible cleaner called Tony Connor.
Can Connor help Superhalk overcome his coffee addiction and find the answers before the stingy killer and his deadly paperweight strike again?
Robert Bogtrotter, the robot by Ashley In a house there lived a noisy, greasy robot named Robert Bogtrotter. Not a frozen vast, cold house, filled with beans and a squidgy smell, nor yet a wicked, beautiful, grubby house with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a robot-house, and that means shelter.
One day, after a troubling visit from the goblin Annabelle Snozcumber, Robert leaves his house and sets out in search of three quiet charms. A quest undertaken in the company of pixies, ogres and urban giants.
In the search for the goblin-guarded charms, Robert Bogtrotter surprises even himself with his patience and skill as a actor.
During his travels, Robert rescues a hawk, an heirloom belonging to Annabelle. But when Annabelle refuses to try loving, their friendship is over.
However, Annabelle is wounded at the Battle of Blenheim and the two reconcile just before Robert engages in some serious loving.
Robert accepts one of the three quiet charms and returns home to his house a very wealthy robot.
Galactic Hairy Spoon Wars by Ashley
A long, long time ago in a hairy, hairy galaxy...
After leaving the ugly planet Solaris, a group of pixies fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a charming, space abbey.
Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Andrew Gloop, a solid elf capable of burglary and even kidnap.
Terrified, a sticky moose known as Michelle Khan flees the Empire, with her protector, Harry Nolan.
They head for Cambridge on the planet Klendathu. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Nolan uses his hairy spoon to defend Michelle.
Nolan and Moose Michelle decide it's time to leave Klendathu and steal a scooter to shoot their way out.
They encounter a tribe of witches. Nolan is attacked and the moose is captured by the witches and taken back to Cambridge.
Nolan must fight to save Moose Michelle but when he accidentally unearths a pointy banana, the entire future of the hairy, ugly galaxy is at stake.
Wenna Gump by Ashley
Wenna Gump is a brave and gentle orphan raised by a vile and vile uncle. Eventually she gets a job working as a private detective for the splendid Lady Giantbulb of Giantbulb Abbey. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a frantic passion.
On the day of their wedding, a smelly sister escapes from the attic of Giantbulb Abbey and starts a fire. Believing that Lady Giantbulb is dead, Wenna flees from the church and wanders the icy moors for days until she is rescued by a modest nurse.
However, although Lady Giantbulb is blinded by the fire, she still breathes. Without Wenna she becomes cowardly and deranged. She turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the sister from the attic haunts her.
Meanwhile, thinking Lady Giantbulb is dead, Wenna accepts a marriage proposal from her saviour, the nurse. However, one night she believes she can hear Lady Giantbulb calling, "Wenna, where are you? Wenna come home!" and she returns to Giantbulb Abbey.
On Wenna's return, she finds Lady Giantbulb drunk and without sight. Mistaking her for the ghost of the smelly sister, she attacks her with a knife and Wenna Gump dies.
As she attends to the body, Lady Giantbulb realises what she has done. Driven mad with guilt, she hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and she dies of consumption two weeks later.
Armageddon and the Beautiful Hawk by Ashley
The snow reminded me of a goldfish that day - what a day for Armageddon.
I panicked, my fear reflected in the eyes of Grandpa and Mummy.
But then we saw it - a beautiful hawk. Grandpa smiled. Brown soles, tiny hooks and urban legs - the hawk seemed like the answer to our prayers.
Mummy looked at the blade and walked accidentally. Grandpa, sleeping boyishly, conveyed similar sentiments.
A sense of deep anticipation ran through my toenails, cooking gracefully.
Grandpa admired the hawk's deserted lake, breath held tight.
Mumble, Mumble!
With help from a wild piano, the hawk saved the world. Phew!
The Holiday to Urban Philadelphia by AshleyEdit
Molly Walker is an adorable gardener from damp the hood. She leads a sleepy life. However, all that changes when Molly books a summer holiday to urban Philadelphia.
At first Molly finds Philadelphia very backward. Then there's the mysterious, ruthless lawyer, Michelle Snozcumber, who makes her feel on edge.
When Michelle invites her on a laughing expedition, Molly begins to realise that Michelle is a deeply rude and greedy woman.
Molly knows in her heart that Michelle is the woman for her. However, to secure her happiness, Molly must fend off the splendid detective, Mike Khan, who wants to get his claws into Michelle.
Using her fake toast and a mutual love of comedy, Molly sets out to snare Michelle once and for all. But will the ruthless gardener return her affections?
The call of Athens by Ashley
"I'm going to need derelict glasses, big, derelict glasses."
The night of the carol service changes everything for Kimberly Platt, a 70-year-old painter from Oxford.
One moment, she is discussing wigs with her generous lover, Phil Nolan; the next, watching with horror as tight-fisted old folk fire each other.
She knows these old folk came from Athens but she can't prove it - at least not without some derelict glasses.
The hopeful, energetic woman knows that her carefree life is over. She acquires some derelict glasses and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from tight-fisted old folk.
However, the end of the world approaches.
Albert Noris's Diary by Ashley
Albert Noris is a podgy, thin and modest nurse from Scotland. His life is going nowhere until he meets Annabelle Meadows, a handsome, stunning woman with a passion for life.
Albert takes an instant disliking to Annabelle and the vile and mean ways she learnt during her years in England.
However, when a mass murderer tries to terrorise Albert, Annabelle springs to the rescue. Albert begins to notices that Annabelle is actually rather articulate at heart.
But, the pressures of Annabelle's job as a police officer leave her blind to Albert's affections and Albert takes up socialising to try an distract herself. Finally, when spiteful hairdresser, Elizabeth Connor, threatens to come between them, Annabelle has to act fast. But will they ever find the incredible love that they deserve?, and time is running out for Kimberly. She is left with two options: stop the tight-fisted old folk in one hour, or allow the world to end in a ball of fire.
Punch of a Fairy by AshleyEdit Molly Gloop suspected something was a little off when her intuitive dear tried to punch her when she was just six years old. Nevertheless, she lived a relatively normal life among other humans.
It wasn't until she bumped into the devilishly cold-blooded fairy, Chris Chan, that her life finally began to make sense.
However, Chris proved to be deranged and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with chatting. Molly soon learnt that Chris had taken an oath never to sniff a human being.
When Molly's intuitive dear is injured in a bungee jumping fail accident, Molly realises her own life is at risk.
Despite Chris's thirst for blood and dangerous sword, Molly finds herself falling for the fairy. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects her.
One night, a zombie appears before Molly and warns her of a darkness within Chris. The zombie gives Molly the silver candlestick - the only weapon that can defeat a cold-blooded fairy.
Will Molly find it in herself to kill the only creature who has ever made her feel truly uneasy? (Hint: yes!)
Brave Kimberly Sweet by Ashley Simon Smith had always loved old-fashioned Skegness with its gentle, good gates. It was a place where he felt afraid. He was a gentle, intelligent, port drinker with red warts and dirty eyes. His friends saw him as a magnificent, melted muppet. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a ratty chicken. That's the sort of man he was.
Simon walked over to the window and reflected on his rural surroundings. The hail pounded like shouting rabbits.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Kimberly Sweet. Kimberly was a brave lawyer with handsome warts and sloppy eyes.
Simon gulped. He was not prepared for Kimberly.
As Simon stepped outside and Kimberly came closer, he could see the hollow glint in her eye.
Kimberly gazed with the affection of 4638 sweet kaleidoscopic koalas. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a resolution."
Simon looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the warped knife. "Kimberly, d'oh," he replied.
They looked at each other with sparkly feelings, like two real, raspy rats boating at a very controlling dinner party, which had reggae music playing in the background and two proud uncles skipping to the beat.
Suddenly, Kimberly lunged forward and tried to punch Simon in the face. Quickly, Simon grabbed the warped knife and brought it down on Kimberly's skull.
Kimberly's handsome warts trembled and her sloppy eyes wobbled. She looked active, her emotions raw like a regurgitated, roasted rock.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Kimberly Sweet was dead.
Simon Smith went back inside and made himself a nice glass of port.
THE END